Monday, December 11, 2006

Merry Christmas, You Idiot

In my capacity as whatever it is I do at the newspaper (where I am highly regarded, and slavishly compensated), I am the recipient, then distributor, of a lot of press releases from all over the country (fervent op ed writers don't give a rat's ass where they're published). So I got one today from some "institution" or something concerning the "war on Christmas." The article was so poorly executed, I felt the need to comment.

What kind of asshole pseudo-intellectual "christian" babbles on and on about a "War on Christmas?" It's not a war. Iraq is a war. Bosnia was a war. Vietnam was a war. A city council calling a Christmas Tree a "holiday tree" isn't a war. If you want to call the tree a Christmas tree, call it a fucking Christmas tree! So if I call you a can opener, do you go around all day crying that you're a can opener now?

Jesus would certainly love your belittling of this continuing human tragedy by your extending its blanket to cover fretting over caroling and decorations.

The only time "war" should ever be mentioned in the same breath as "Christmas" is in the "Pipes of Peace" video. And the Plastic Ono Band song. And some other stuff, too, probably. But it should be an actual war, one of those things waged over gods, monies and territories.
And how that spark of humanity and love for the brotherhood of humanity can be fanned during this time of year.

"War on Christmas." You're such an asshole.

Happy holidays!

1 comment:

Morsel said...

Makes me want to scream.

Ironically, someone who was a true Christian (in the purest sense) would probably be offended by the commercialist enterprises using Christmas in their promotions.

Pick a real battle, people!