Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Urine for a Laugh!
I saw a commercial the other night on...TBS? Yes, it was TBS, cuz I was watching America's Funniest Videos (yes, today is November 9, 2005). Anyway this commercial comes on for Urine Gone, which claims to do just that. Because, as we all know, "getting rid of stains and odors caused by cat, dog or human urine can be exasperating." Don't I know it! But what can I do? It's not like there's a place in the bathroom to dispose of your urine. So after you soak it up with a towel every few days, a little urine is still left behind.
Luckily, Urine Gone comes with a black light stain detector. Aha, there's urine in the corner. And the sink. And the window blinds.
Spritz, spritz, spritz -- it's gone! Urine -- gone! It is the damnedest thing!
My life is renewed! I love Urine Gone! I keep a bottle in the car. I take it with me everywhere. You wouldn't believe how much urine is floating around out there. Phone booths, confessionals, martini bars, even public showers!
But not anymore. Not on my pee-pee watch!
Let us take a moment and reflect on the awesome power of Urine Gone!
(The author, who may seem to be endorsing the above product, is not. He, in fact, collects his urine in Jim Beam bottles and stores them in a safety deposit box. He does, however, recommend that his bank purchase a bottle, maybe two, of Urine Gone, because chances are a black light stain detector will detect myriad urine stains throughout the branch.)